The funny thing is, I never once referred to the place as backwoods, although yes, I did refer to the field area from which you watch fireworks as a backwater canyon, and my return home to the return to civilization. And of course, I'm very good with names, so much as to cause me to be perplexed at the reference. Alas.

From: Fred...
To: frank@allaboutfrank.com
Date: 15 Apr 2004, 09:34:19 PM
Subject: A complaint about your lame duck site

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NICE WEB SITE-WITH SUCH INFORMATIVE NVESTIGATION SKILLS, YOU'D PERFORM
RIGHTEOUSLY AT THE LOCAL LIBERAL

"MODOC RECORD". NEXT TIME YOU DECIDE TO REPORT ON OUR LITTLE PEACE OF
PARADISE, DO SO AFTER ASKING

PERMISSION AND IF YOU CAN'T SEEM TO REMEMBER NAMES ie."Harvey's Frosty" or
"Brown Bear", JUST ASK ONE OF US

BACKWOODS FOLKS. OH, DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL YOU, WE DO HAVE A HIGHSCHOOL. YA
KNOW THE GREATEST THING

ABOUT LIVING IN OUR CORNER OF NORTHERN CALIFORNIA, WE DON'T HAVE A BUNCH OF

SELF RIGHTEOUS MONEY HUNGRY, SELF SERVING UNGODLY CITY FOLK WANDERING
AROUND COMPLAINING ABOUT

HOW BORING IT IS IN ALTURAS. INSTEAD WE HAVE A BUNCH OF GOOD, HONEST,
HARDWORKING, AND GOD FEARING

AMERICANS DOING WHAT GOD HAS INTENDED US TO DO. ENJOY WHAT HE'S
GIVEN US. NEXT TIME YOU THINK

ABOUT IT, HOW DOES THE WATER TASTE WHERE YOU LIVE, HOW ABOUT THAT SMOG AND
NOISY TRAFFIC. ARE YOU

ALWAYS LOOKING BEHIND YOU BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW THE NEXT TIME SOME HOOLIGUN
IS GOING TO TAKE YOUR

WALLET OR BEAT YA UPSIDE THE HEAD. YAH, YOU LOST YOUR LITTLE DUCK RACE, AND
YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO GET

BACK TO YOUR RAT RACE, BUT REST ASSURED, AS LONG AS YOU STAY WHERE YOU'RE
AT, I'LL SLEEP PEACEFULLY AT

NIGHT. I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO TELL ME WHAT IT IS THAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT
BEING SELF ENGULFED WITH ALL OF

YOUR MATERIAL AND OTHERWISE USELESS POSSESSIONS. WHAT IT IS ABOUT NOISE,
SMOG AND CRIME THAT TRIPS

YOUR TRIGGER. I HOPE THAT WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU'RE SEEKING THROUGH THIS
RIDICULOUS SITE, YOU ENJOY IT.

THAT'S PROBABLY THE ONLY THING IN LIFE THAT A HUMAN OF YOUR KIND COULD
ENJOY. I WON'T BOTHER TELLING YOU

ABOUT PEACE AND TRANQUILLITY, IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE IT INTERESTS YOU.
ENJOY YOUR CITY LIVIN'

SINCERELY,
JUST ANOTHER
MODOC'er FROM THE BACKWOODS.