Sort of a bucket of silly bits, including jokes, random things that made me smile, and other stuff that isn't necessarily a writing, and generally, which I had nothing to do with creating. So assume it's all from somewhere else unless I tell you otherwise.

• Anagrams - Ever wonder what words a bored, anonymous someone can make out of other words?

• Cannot Find Weapons of Mass Destruction -- You can also find this using google.com, typing in WMD and hit the "I feel lucky" button, but I still thought it was funny

• Kitty Purr'n - A little somethin'-something' for all you old, sicko guys.

• A Nervous Priest - A new priest doesn't quite get the idea of proper use of vodka before giving a homily.

• Powerbook Scam - It all started with an eBay auction for a new G4 Powerbook...

• Wedding Dress For Sale - This was an eBay auction in late April 2003, and while the dress itself isn't spectacular, the guy who posted can certainly turn a phrase. Even it the whole thing turned out to be mostly a good story...

• Work-related Memos. Some employers like emails, others FAXes. In the case of county workers, it's all on paper. But I've converted the more amusing ones to PDF files. (Need Acrobat?)
  • Job Transfer Request (98KB PDF file)
  • Power Loss Incident Summary (92KB PDF file)
  • Postpone Transfer Request (16KB PDF file)

A thousand apologies for the delay in my response. I have been taken il with neuroflaxia. Your attendance on the day in question and your generous gift was much appreciated. Thou shalt have treasures in the kingdom of the Lord.

You ate my cake and drank my Pepsi, but I spent the money you gave me, so we are even.

Thank you for your most thoughtful gift on MY special day. Your generosity and thoughtfulness shall be remembered on judgement day -- after you pass into the grett abyss.

Your rewards will be great and might include, but are not limited to, dinner at (duh), a box containing a mysterious prize, a handjob, large amounts of cash, small amounts of cash, a new car, my eternal gratitude, a pound of bacon, a can of chili, or nothing. No warranty, express or implied, is created under this offer, nor are any covenents or contracts created between the offerer and offeree, no gifts (greater than a slab of steak) shall be bestowed upon any person, living or dead. Offer void where prohibited by law and certain restrictions apply. By laughing at the preceeding paragraph, reader hereby waives the right to complain about the overall stingy nature of offer and forever waives all rights, claims, and entitlements otherwise available to offeree to enforce this offer.