The staff
is distracting, and Baldie didn't even manage to begin reading his
new Jack Higgins paperback. He seemed torn between looking at Ashley,
a brunette of about twenty or so with boundless energy, and the
need to bounce or hop just about the entire 90 minutes we were there...
even when standing in place she was fidgeting. While we'd both heard
tales of Hooters, I figured (incorrectly) the place was a bar for
owls. Baldie figured there would be revealing tank tops, but seemed
wholly unprepared for the curt nature of the shorts. It didn't seem
to trouble him much, though.
The other girl was nameless, some blonde girl whose nametag was
far more complicated to read, since she spent a greater deal of
her time by the entry way, and carrying food orders to tables. Ashley,
on the other hand, was more the social butterfly, flitting from
table to table, making her presence known, and generally relishing
in the attention. The sign over one of the server stations reads,
"Hooters Girls Are Flattery Operated." In at least one
case, it was overly apparent. At the table behind us, seated with
three guys and a somewhat bored-looking blonde, we heard "quit
trying to get laid; it just ain't gonna happen." I guess he
thought he was going to get in good with the staff, as he was one
of the four birthdays; he's turning 26... he's a bit old for such
optimism, I thought. Strangely enough, their server was also Shannon,
and I'm reasonably sure that if she was going to date a customer,
it'd be an adorable duck before a deplorable dork. But perhaps I
have a bias.
The food itself was not overly remarkable, but then again, he had
a bacon cheeseburger, and I had his curly fries. They were lightly
seasoned, to which I'm largely indifferent, but they were crisp
and crunchy, which made them a winner in my eyes. Not something
I would drive hundreds of miles in order to partake, but if it's
local, I'd voice no complaint in returning. Despite being stuffed
(I literally, the boy figuratively), we engaged in the cheese cake,
which was covered in caramel and almonds... which were, fortunately,
easily scraped off. Neither he nor I am overly fond in the crunchy
contraptions.
In the 90 minutes from 9:20pm to 10:50pm, we had six hula-hoop
games, four birthdays complete with singing and clapping, one instance
of Ashley on a chair trying (unsuccessfully) to get everyone's attention...
for what reason I do not know. In a move of marketing genius, Shannon
approached as we were finishing dinner, with one of the 2002 calendars
in one hand, and asked if Baldie would be interested in purchasing
one for only $11.95. He said no (yup, surprised me, too), but he
did order shirts for himself and Norm, one for me as well (although
quite as an afterthought, I'm sure). It's a bit on the large size,
but I'm going to have it tailored. I found it a little disquieting
that smoking is permitted, but moreover, that it's allowed by folks
sitting facing into the kitchen area. Obviously, the California
Health and Safety Code don't apply in Georgia, but it seems like
just a bad idea to allow... maybe it's just me, I dunno.
Overall, I would go back. Maybe even tomorrow; they have grilled
cheese on their menu (a tri-fold 8.5"x11" gray marble
speckle 100# paper printed in brown and orange), and it sounds oddly
appealing. And I'm sure I won't have a hard time getting Chrome
Dome to drive me, since he's been equally cooped up in the hotel
for nearly a week. And now off I go...
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