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Surprisingly enough, I woke up feeling rested and refreshed, without a trace of regret about last night. Which is helpful, considering I can't really remember anything about last night. But I'm a forward-thinking sort of duck, so it's all about living in the moment and what I'm going to do and see today.
6:14am (CST) Alarm went off. Trooped back to where car was parked and reclaimed it as our own. The bellhop tried to grab hold of the rest of the luggage. However, I am working with cheapskates. They didn’t make me hold anything, but I watched with glee as they struggled with the six-packs of Diet Pepsi and Dr. Pepper on top of the other crap they brought.
7:01am Back to sleep again…oh the joy.
10:55am Wakey, wakey. I made the girls get up OOB (nurse slang for Out Of Bed; it can be handy hanging out with a nurse, you know). Showering was a must. I gathered my supplies and hopped in.
12:15pm One of the hazards of traveling with females (sometimes I do miss the Bald One) is the getting ready period. First they have to pick out the clothes (I’m down with my down), then shower, then blow-dry the hair, make-up themselves, spray the perfume, talk and talk and talk. Not that I mind that. I happen to enjoy a good rambler. Finally, I was tucked safely in the girl’s arms and we headed down to Canal. We made for the French Market and the flea market down on Decatur.
12:40pm Pit stop at Café Du Monde. Two orders of beignets were ordered along with hot chocolate and OJ. Oh, don’t you worry -- they shared with me. The second sister didn’t want the powdered sugar to get all over me, so she designated herself as the beignet holder. Dai was kind enough to bring the food and take a picture with me.
1:18pm Purchased The Hottest F$@#&g Sauce from World Famous N’awlins Cajun Creole Spices, Inc. Boy, try saying that five times fast. I rather liked the French Market. Even if the anonymous cashier didn't want to name names (her own, that is).
1:30pm The nerd girl found some earrings she liked at the flea market. She bargained the jewelry down while I posed in front of Shirley. The woman encouraged me to try on some rings. My question: where would I place it? Wings, remember? The first sister ended up forking over $9.80 rather then $11.50. Whoop dee doo.
2:00pm The flea market was so humid and all those people. Mind you I like people, but I was bumped into and the girls had fixed my feathers so nicely this morning. I tried to do the haggling thing too but I wasn’t successful. There was this nice shirt I wanted to buy “Property of New Orleans City Jail.” The heavily accented man was asking $15.99. I offered a Lincoln and a Washington to the guy. He told me to walk around while he thought about it. Read: get the hell away from me, you ghetto duck.
2:15pm Walked away from the flea market and met Mason. He loved my SpongeBob backpack. He also thought the pen I gave him was rather nifty.
2:30pm Walked into some piercing shop. All my blood was shuttled to my internal organs as I contemplated a piercing. Nah, I think I just observe and not participate. The second sister was considering paying someone to jab a hole in her belly button. The shaved head, lower lip pierced, gravelling voiced dude behind the counter. To the nerdy first sister, “So Miss I-Bring-Nothing-to-the-Table, what do you want pierced?” She quickly verbalized her status as a wimp and that she wasn’t looking. All three of us backed out of there hastily.
3:20pm Sat down at the Market Café. Valerie was kind enough to seat us and provide food in the form of a chicken po-boy, a muffaletta, and bread pudding. I prepared to be invited to play with band. It could happen. Benny Hardy and the New Orleans Knights Jazz Band were playing. Benny refused to take a picture with me, uttering, “I can’t, I just can’t.” Hah! I took one of him anyway.
4:00pm We observed Dr. Eric, a street performer, having a large fellow step on his head and upper back while the good doctor lay on broken glass. Not my cup of tea. We headed over to the St. Louis Cathedral and were sacrilegious. Don’t I look damn good near this glass window of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ? We were offered some ashes to smear over our forehead and we politely declined.
5:05pm Back to Hotel Monaco to plan our adventures this eve. Definitely a vampire tour. Yippee!
7:45pm Got butts in gear and headed for St. Louis Cathedral where the vampire tour would start. Kind of a naughty place to start things off, especially since this is Ash Wednesday. Arrived and received “blessed” cheap white Mardi Gras beads and a sticker. We still had time to kill so once again is was beignets at Café Du Monde.
8:35pm The tour began a little late and we were divided into two groups. We opted for Brett Thomas, a licensed New Orleans city guide and a soon-to-be-daddy. Congrats to you, buddy. We started off in Pirates’ Alley and proceeded to God knows where. The French Quarter can be disorienting at night. We spoke to Drew and Rich along our tour. They even consented to take a photograph with me and the chicks while we were at the Whirling Dervish (no web site for them, but here is a brief bit about 'em). Drew’s on the right; Rich on the left. Yeah, the bar didn’t even card me. We continued our tour. It was the coolest dang thing. We saw a nunnery that probably houses vampires in the attic. We also stood in the place where two female interns were found nude and drained of 80% of their blood. Even valiant I was chilled to the bone
11:00pm The tour halted where it started, Pirates’ Alley. I purchased the Haunted History Tour (web site) video, Journey Into Darkness… The Trilogy. A good pal, albeit human, doesn’t do the reading thing. Thought that a video would be the way to go. Also bought the book “Journey Into Darkness… Ghost and Vampires of New Orleans.” The author signed it with a “Fangs a lot.” How cute
11:15pm Met Kevin, a fanged human. Originally from Boston, the guy decided he liked humidity more than snow. He led us to Bourbon Street and explained which drinks are best for the pursuit of drunkenness. Allegedly, absinthe is a good one as well as straight chartreuse. We thanked him and moved down Bourbon on our own power
11:55pm Back at the hotel. The girls thought it humorous to put the hotel’s robe on me and pretend I was a drag queen duck. I put up with their behavior for a short time because they’re so cute. To sleep now.

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